So I read a question somewhere.
What is love?
At times when our heart or our mind doesn’t give us answers, we turn to the influences around us. The books, and the movies. What does love look like?
Reading books and watching those movies makes us believe in drama. A girl and a boy meet, and there’s instant attraction. Everything they do, is BIG. When they fight, the boy makes a grand gesture which is adorably romantic. And its the time for the audience to let out a big, collective awwww.
That’s what they tell love is like, that’s how relationships should be.
But when I start thinking about it, here’s what I think.
Sometimes, it’s not about the “instant” attraction, its caring for them, and feeling as if your feelings intensify day by day.
It’s looking around and finding things reminding you of them, because even though you’re not together physically, they’re still in the back of your mind, and they’ll always be there.
It’s remembering exactly how he likes his sandwich, and how she takes ice with her coke. She always takes coke.
It’s laughing to her favorite song, even though you don’t like it yourself, and then curtsying in front of her, and asking her to dance. It’s feeling your heart beat a little faster as you look into his eyes and feel his hand at the small of your back as he pulls you closer.
Its small things like asking them how their day went. Reminding her she needs to do her files, and scolding him for not studying all day.
It’s not realizing how fast time flies by when you’re talking. “What the fuck, it’s been FOUR HOURS?” It’s hearing the sound of her laugh as she laughs to your incredulous tone. It’s feeling all happy and mushy inside when you hear how he didn’t realize it’s gone so late.
It’s pictures where you’re both laughing, actually, it’s the laughter whenever you’re together. It’s how you’re together and you randomly walk nowhere, and reach faaaaaar away from where you started. It’s how he plays with your hair, and how she slips her hand into yours.
It’s sharing the umbrella when it’s raining, even though you’ll both get soaked. And it’s abandoning trying to fit under it, and chasing each other as the rain falls harder. It’s looking at her with her hair plastered to her face and thinking how beautiful she is. It’s looking at him with your kohl running down your face and wishing you could kiss him.
It’s looking for her in the hallways just for a glimpse of her. It’s going the longer way just so you can see him.
It’s lending her your jacket, and her “forgetting” to return it. It’s holding her a little closer, a little longer, till her smell lingers over your t-shirt.
It’s supporting her through the losses, and cheering with him through the wins. It’s making her stop crying, and making him feel happier.
It’s randomly moving together through the city, because it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s just being together.
It’s feeling as if you’re complete when you don’t talk to each other for a whole day, where you just feel like jumping into the car and driving to wherever they are.
It’s the random “I miss you’s”, even though you met just the day before.
It’s the feeling you get when he whispers he loves you, how you spend the next 5 minutes staring up at the ceiling and silently screaming. It’s smiling like an idiot when she shyly tells you she loves you too,and going to sleep with a big smile on your face.
So I think grand gestures aren’t a way of proving your love.
Those little things are.