It creeped up on me today.

Well, I felt it coming a long time ago. I felt it and I tried to push it away. I tried to take myself out of it and for some reason, I couldn’t escape. I tried my best to run and yet, the cloud around me only got bigger and darker. Now, I’m sitting in the hole while it pours down on me. I’m stuck again.

My mind is once again filled with the thoughts I know I shouldn’t act on and yet, sometimes I still do. Sometimes I can’t help it. Some days are too hard and today is one of those days. The days that I can’t get up out of bed. The days where I want to yell at the world but no words come out.

The days where I have everything in my head ready to say it. The days where I want to tell everyone just how sick I am but I realize that no one even notices how bad I’m hurting. No one sees anything different, guess I’m stuck on auto pilot now. At least on the outside because in my head it’s a jumbled mess of I don’t know what to do and I really just want to give and die.

It’s one of those days because I woke up and the feeling was immense. I hadn’t felt it so much like before. It sort of just happened. Now, my friends think I’m blowing them off but I really just can’t force myself to explain because I know that they can’t understand that I’m just sad.

The don’t get it, because to them I’m always doing fine.

But today, I”m really not fine

and I don’t know what to do..

Posted in you.

14 thoughts on “IT’S ONE OF THOSE DAYS..

  1. Been there. Still make pretty frequent visits there. You will never know what they can/can’t handle or help you with until you tell them. I know its hard and you’re right they probably won’t understand, but they don’t have to understand to care, to listen, to be there for you. You are stronger than you feel. Let them in. Let someone in. Even if its complete strangers from the blog world, let someone in. Everyone needs a shoulder and sometimes the easiest shoulder to use is a well meaning stranger. lol *huggles*

    Liked by 2 people

      1. 16 is a hard age. You are leaning, changing, and growing so much. Such a different person from what you where on middle school and so far from what you are becoming and will be when you’re in your twenties. Try to enjoy the ride. It will get better in a lot of ways and worse in some but its all worth it to become the person you are meant to become.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Anytime hon. 🙂 Just remember life is about constantly growing and changing. You are a different person today than you where yesterday or will be tomorrow. There’s always time to fix or change things. To let people or cut them out. To learn or to wallow. You decide what you want to do with your life and you do whatever you can to accomplish it.

    Liked by 1 person

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