Despite what all the romance novels and movies tell you, sometimes relationships just don’t work out. Sometimes, you just don’t get the happy ending you know you deserve. Sometimes, the one person who you trust the most ends up shattering your world. And your entire world actually falls apart, collapses and burns down. You just don’t understand how or when or why this happened. And before you know it, you’re all alone, locked in some sort of a prison that you don’t have the key to.
And no matter how many people talk to you, comfort you, or listen to you, their presence doesn’t leave even the slightest impression, or even the most insignificant mark. You finally realise what it means to be lonely even in the midst of hundreds.
You feel empty, hollow, vulnerable, confused, angry, depressed, lifeless -all at the same time. It somehow feels like you gave all that you had into something, and the waves just swept it away to an unknown land.
Words that used to come easily to you, straight from your heart, now have to pried away forcibly from your head. Every sentence that you want to say, every feeling that you want to express, somehow just translates to ‘Why?’
You just don’t understand how or why the apocalypse happened. You blame yourself, you blame the timing, you blame everything that walks or talks. But never him..
And in this trance-like state of confusion, how can you even think of letting go, no matter what the world screams at you?
Well, you finally begin to let go when you stop asking yourself any question that starts with ‘What If’. You begin to let go when you wake up one morning, weeks after the breakup, and realise that you had a good night’s sleep, which for the first time wasn’t interspersed with dreams of a certain human being you used to know. You begin to let go when you understand that something’s in life are just not meant to be.
Letting go is never a planned event, nor does it have any definite list of steps. It just happens. It is a long process that starts the day you pick up the pieces of your broken heart and ends when you glue those pieces back together all on your own. You let go when you realise that all you really need in life is you yourself; others will come and go but your strength, your will-power, your experience and your intelligence are yours and will never leave you stranded.
Letting go implies surrendering any anger or hatred that remains in your heart. It doesn’t mean that all your wounds have magically healed; it only means that you have accepted that you have been hurt deeply and that you can come out of the trauma. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t feel sad anymore; it just means that you have no regrets.
You let go when you accept everything. When you accept the situation, you forgive the circumstances, you forgive him and most importantly, you forgive yourself. Letting go is like seeing the silver lining in the cloud and realising that a bright sunny morning is waiting for you. Letting go is like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and knowing that you’ll reach it soon, all on your own.
Moving on and letting go someone you once loved is a heart-wrenching and painful process. You never know where to begin and how to proceed. It is only when you have completed the process that you look back and see your past-self drowned in grief and pain, and you realise that you needed to face that to change, to become better. It is like passing through burning flames and somehow coming out stronger.
And finally you start to let all the dreams and fairytales you imagined fade away, you accept that it wasn’t meant to be and yet you keep all the good memories with you as a mark of one of the happiest times of your life while knowing that even happier times are about to come. You feel more confident, having learnt from your past mistakes. You learn to accept pain and sorrow and you also accept the fact that you deserve happiness.
And that’s how you let go.