” It gets better with time”, they say.
What is time?
Is time the late nights that you stay awake reflecting on all of the ‘good’ things in your past that turned ‘bad’?
Is the time the days that turned into nights that you stayed awake wondering if things would get better or if there would ever be a time that you would not feel so alone?
Is time the void that you feel deep inside you that you keep wishing would be filled with something other than doubt?
I wonder… I wonder what it is like to have a sense of wonder and to feel free.
I wonder… what it is like to not loathe time.
I wonder… what it is like to forgive time and not blame it for your current feeling of sadness.
I wonder if time ever laughs at me and says “not today” OR “maybe tomorrow”.
That’s it… maybe tomorrow. People are very fond of telling you that things improve with time or that every day is a step of improvement. They fail to tell you how everyday is a day of you wishing that you could start new and forgive time.
Time has a way of taking things away from you and making you wish that you could invite it over for a cup of coffee or to laugh again.
Time does not go easy on those that it touches. It is relentless in its pursuit to always make you wonder ‘what if’.
But honestly? ‘what if’ time just doesn’t care?
Time is the friend that you went separate ways with after a bitter fight.
You will always miss it and wonder what it is up to or if it will ever return to you and things be the same as before… but as with any relationship, this is never the case. You just accept that time is lost and you will never get it back.