Have you ever closed your eyes and just see darkness?
A black hole? It’s not a hole it’s a square?
Almost as if your mind had absolutely nothing to think about?
Nothing to imagine?
Contemplations result in a void of futile attempts to get nowhere fast?
And you find yourself wanting to surrender to the emptiness of the blackness?
Sort of like an unoccupied room without electricity?
I find myself willingly retreating into the vacant lot of unanswered questions and hollow spaces of my consciousness.
The vacuum sucked up all of the ashes of the burned ideas and now there’s a constant relief.
Relief of thoughts.
Relief of mistakes.
Relieved of everything I once found annoying
As I sink into this barren land I can’t bring myself to flood it with anything.
My mind wants to hold this peaceful sanctuary of nothingness just a little bit longer before everything comes crashing back.
As I close my eyes and feel my head slowly losing to gravity I let myself float;
Like a fish.
Like a dead fish.
A lotus flower growing in the mud and surfacing on top of the water just enough for my petals to emerge and create a sense of beautifulness.
The dark and muddy brown casts an unmistakable shadow on the bright green leaves
And the pinks and purples of the flower make the mud not so dull in comparison.
A frog jumps on me and blends in with the rich green of the leaves and ribbits loud enough to make me conscious again.
The fish I presumed dead swims about
The thick mud which shouldn’t allow for diving isn’t so thick anymore
The fish struggles to get out of the self induced bind on the mud and happily swims underneath where all the water seems to be.
It can’t see much but it’s content there.
It surrenders into the full brown and black hues of the mud and thinks of nothing but the thrill of the plunge.
I am a fish.
I am the flower.
I am the mud.
Satisfied with immersing myself into the onyx color of my surroundings.
Maybe there’s an octopus real easing ink into my brain and I have never been so enchanted.
I have never been so blank.
Into the dark..