A Challenging List

I’ve never struggled so much with a piece of writing before.

I’ve been coerced into doing this. Alright, no. I need to do this for myself, irrespective of the fact that I may be brutally murdered if I don’t start caring about and loving myself soon. (Are you reading this, Best Friend? I’m trying. Please don’t hurt me.)

“Loving myself”. It makes me cringe. It sounds like something on the cover of an overpriced self-help book. Right. That’s enough procrastination. I’m trying to piece together my withering self-esteem by writing a list of things I like about myself. Here goes nothing:

1. I’m tenacious. I don’t give up on pursuits that I am passionate about and I’m more mature than I seem. Emotionally, at least. That one was easy. I’ve written about it before.
2. I’m a listener. People open up to me easily. Even the quiet, awkward ones perhaps because I can be loud and awkward when I’m with someone I’m fond of.
3. I can boost other people’s self-esteem in minutes. Just not my own. Oh Irony, I do deplore you sometimes.
4. I don’t love people halfway. If I care about you, there’s not much I wouldn’t do for you. This is not always a good thing.
5. I write. And some people like my writing. I’ve almost reached 400 followers by writing this blog. It’s not much, but you all make me incredibly happy. (One of my followers is my favorite contemporary poet and that means the world to me.)
   My vocabulary isn’t too terrible either. I can fling about words like “corpulent” and “satyriasis” and no one realises that they aren’t exactly complimentary.
6. I can laugh at myself. This has its downsides, but I dislike people who can’t take a joke, so I think it’s A Good Thing.
7. I’m an eternal optimist. My friend told me that I experience “chronic eustress”- which is long-lasting and recurrent good stress. It means that I’m extremely happy and busy on most days. That’s Another Good Thing.
8. I’m a Human Hyperbole. Aforementioned Best Friend told me this yesterday.
9. Cats like me. (I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m running out of legitimate points) But they really do! I can use this cat affinity to my advantage when I grow old with an abundance of them.

Most kids like me, too. My six-year-old cousin refused to hug anyone except for me after dinner last week. (That might be because I was the only one who agreed to hide from the Grown Ups with him and talk about Frozen and sharks). I have a tip for bonding with kids, actually- don’t treat them like imbeciles. Talk to them like you talk to your friends.

10. I’m a curious person. This is a good skill for a journalist to have. (While I’m boasting, I may as well mention that I was told this by the editor of a rather famous newspaper.)
11. I surprise people. I giggle quite a bit, so people wrongly assume that I’m unintelligent. Also-I’m a feminist, I don’t swear and I blush a lot, so boys assume I’m uptight. It’s rather amusing watching the jaws drop when I tell a particularly dirty joke. Also, I can be witty on a good day.
12. I’m nice to people. Also, not always A Good Thing. A friend actually asked me how I’m so nice to people.

I can’t think of anything else, but I shall add more when I do.
That was unimaginably difficult for me.
How did I do?

PS- I was wondering- Why do we always teach little girls that they need to find and love Prince Charming to be happy? Shouldn’t we be teaching them to love themselves and be happy alone, first?