Sloshed, stoned and half in love I walked through the doors of our two bedroom apartment.
They’d always told me that the one bedroom was good enough but oh, they didn’t know us did they.
“Hey baby, how was it tonight?” you ask, fairly acknowledging my unkept state and shabby hair.
I stay quiet, how could I tell you that I ran out these doors tonight cause of you, partied as I cried mascara tears cause of you, and now you act as though it were nothing, as though it were just an ordinary end to an ordinary night, as though you were magic and I was your illusion. “Any hot guys, you made out with?” You ask faking bliss and ignorance. Despondency. How do I tell you that you’re the only one who can make me weak in the knees? Make my stomach churn at the thought of your breath against my skin.
I muster up courage, take in a deep breath or two, I can smell the alcohol on me, “You know you’re the only one I thought about”. You roll your eyes at the response and I take it as a sign of disapproval. My intoxicated state of mind wanted to prove you wrong. I did only think about you, your touch, not his. I look into your eyes, my heart beats faster.
I move, five steps ahead, a step back in submission, and then one ahead maintaining my balance.
My needy hands take you by the collar and pull you close as our bodies collide. Our lips crash into each other, overlapping, tasting, devouring.
It all ends too soon, I want you more as you push me away. You pull me close, almost immediately as if missing my warmth and kiss my forehead.
Your lips, I still remember were soft and supple, unlike mine, tainted with whiskey and shame from that night.
I felt my eyes give up at the thought of you, you hold me tight and lie me down on our bed, embracing me closely as if the world would be too unstable for my existence, remove my hot red high heels and the dress you bought me on our first anniversary, you loved the way it accentuated my curves.
A blanket over us you sing me to sleep, to our song. Oh I wish I skipped through people as easily as I skipped through time, unwilling and wishing for it all to go back to 4am, rather than a 4:37 that seemed like 5//