I miss you a lot. I really do. I don’t know what happened or what went wrong, but something or somewhere, we lost touch.
You see, I’m not the type of person who shares emotions. I don’t. I don’t open up about myself, my family or the state of my mind only because you’re my friend. That is only for a few people to listen to, not because it is some sort of privilege, but because I feel that that may not be important to you.
You said you left me because every time you talked to me, I was the one asking questions, and never the one giving any answers. You said we met so often but you never really got to know who I really was.
What would have I said to that? That you were just an acquaintance, and that it takes me months to formulate a mutual friendship?
I am writing to you not because I have another question for you, but because I want to share something with you. Lately, I have met too many people, heard too many stories, shared too many emotions than I am accustomed to. Than I was ever accustomed to. Out of those, some I was able to let go of, because I’ve always been able to do that. I don’t reserve people. I don’t keep expectations from people. I care about people, but I don’t expect them to care for me. But I want some of them to be. Just ‘be’. I want to reserve them.
But the problem is, I’ve started sharing. And expecting. I don’t know if I’ve changed or if I’m the same person, but things have changed.
I just hope you come back once to remind me who I was, and how I was able to keep myself aloof. Either do that or just come back to help me figure myself out. Because I’ve decided that trying to figure people out would lead me nowhere.
I hope you read this. And then help me out.
Your elusive friend.